This is actually an old piece that I wrote a couple of weeks ago but I’ve decided to publish it.
This is a term I’ve made up, and it’s something I think about a lot. Definitivism is the degree of how definitive something is; that is the best and most effective run of a recurring, serialised medium. You know, it’s when a TV show was the best.
For example, the most definitive era of Superman is when he’s still keeping a secret from Lois, when Jimmy is still a photographer and Perry’s the boss. For many people, high school Buffy is THE Buffy. Cheers with Diane. Etc.
So it’s the era that everything else is judged by. And not necessarily the first part of a run either. I’m sure you can list plenty of your own. Now, there’s a reason I bring this up.
This photo dates back from 2002. I’ve never seen it til last week when my friend Daniela sent it to me. I’m working for the same company I’m working at now, via a detour and in another country. I was very happy then, and I wonder if that, 2002, will be the definitive period of my life.
It happens in the 20s, right? That’s when you make your mark, write your story, find your path. I look at myself in that photo and all I have are good memories and dreams that never came true.
This photo fascinates me. It mirrors so much of what I’m doing now, and so much of what I have been. Although my hair is long and my stomach is fat.
I’m still desperate to find sunglasses like the ones I’m wearing there. Aviators that are rimless. Bought for five bucks at a BDO in Melbourne. That jacket has since developed a large hole. The shirt betrays a man in love with alt-country music. That backpack is with me right now in London, holding the laptop that you see in that dock below that big monitor. The yellow flyer to the left is for a screening of the Wilco movie I Am Trying To Break Your Heart, a band I still love.
In the far right bottom is a box of digibetas that I still don’t know what they are for. The photo pinned up on the very right is a picture of me, Jon and Linkin Park which I still have. Bec sits on your very right. We would talk a lot. I don’t know if it was my day to get the tea or hers, but the fact there are two mugs suggests it’s the afternoon. Ah, so many memories in that photo.
So back to Definitivism. Maybe this was the defining era for me, right there. It sometimes seems like I’m trying to get back to that point. I think maybe that’s why my last job was so disappointing. It was like Buffy with Riley in it. It just wasn’t the same.
Anyway, so I’m kind of back on course with things I think. It’s not the same. The budgets are a bit bigger. The cast are a little older. What we have here is Star Trek: the Movie. Not definitive, but still an important part of the overall story.
And I’m not saying I’m never going to be that happy again. But the time in my life when this photo was taken, was a golden period. I don’t miss it, but I remember everything about it, and think about it a lot.
Anyway, it’s just funny cos I’m wearing sunnies indoors.