So, I might as well be honest.
This weekend has been kind of crappy. And I can’t quite put my finger on it. Just general bottled up frustrations. Crappy Australia Day. Work is very busy. Can’t seem to find a better place to live. Worried about this. Worried about that. Getting angry just looking at the face of strangers. Big existential doubts. Missing people. And places. And travelling. It just led to a low ebb this week.
Which is the best time to write, really.
I spent some time this weekend just wandering around. I’ve got my favourite walk down pat. Start at Starbucks on Kensington Church Street. Buy a coffee (Grande Latte) and a muffin (Classic Blueberry usually, although yesterday I got Chocolate Chip). Walk past Kensington Palace, home of Princess Di, into Kensington Gardens past the high school sports teams and curse myself for getting that stupid muffin, as muffins are not really designed to be one handed meals.
Take a slight detour past the pond and use the bin there to throw away the muffin cup paper squiggly wrapping thing and the paper bag. Light up a cigarette and both coffee and smoke should be done by the time you reach the bins and exit near Lancaster Gate. From here you can trundle on for twenty or so minutes to Soho or jump on the tube.
So nothing frustrates me more than nothing. I’m supposed to be writing but I haven’t really been in the mood and my writing space is a bit blergh. I need some clothes but I don’t know what to get. I’ve got all these half things that I’m putting off, waiting for something I don’t know.
Anyway, all this rambling IS leading somewhere. It sets up quite nicely the mood I was in as I got to Soho today, nominally to look for a present for a friend. And I remembered that since 16 I had an outlet for my stress, my frustrations, my creative energies and my whimsy.
So I bought a £200 guitar.
It’s a ¾ sized Art and Lutherie, a Canadian company. It’s blue, making it look both odd and a bit like a toy. I was trying to think of something small and blue to name it after and I’ve pretty much settled to the emotionally crippled, manic depressive that is Charlie Brown.
Got out the old notepad today and I pretty much finished one song and got most of the way through a second. And it feels good. Also managed to do some recording on Garage Band. Exciting is not the word I would use to describe it, more just comfortable. I should have gotten one earlier. Everyone needs a talisman, or a security blanket.
I’m going to go work out the chords to Bread’s Make It With You now.
UPDATED: 31st Jan
Ha. Sometimes I surprise myself with my own multi-layered genius. The first and most famous security blanket of them all belongs to Linus van Pelt, also from Peanuts. How apt that mine is named after another ‘Peanut’. What do you mean you don’t see how funny that is?